Change is good. Or really bad. Really, really bad.
I’ve had so many changes over this past summer, I really can’t decide if I like that or not. I know it’s supposed to make you stronger and help you learn from the past. But sometimes it really gets to me and I don’t know if the changes I’ve made are the right ones.
Sometimes it’s hard not to get worked up over little things and trying to keep your emotions to yourself is more hurtful than not. I keep going back and forth from what’s making me happy and what’s keeping me from being happy. I miss my family, even though we all live in the same city (with my brother as the exception) it’s hard when everyone is working and you can’t spend as much time with them as you want. It really makes me cherish and also regret not spending more time with them while growing up in the same house.
Life is hard, it really is. You have to make a life for yourself, and it can be really difficult, trying to live up to everyone’s expectations while making yourself happy. I’ve had so many people tell me what I’m doing is wrong, that I need to get my stuff together, but you know what? Everyone is different, everyone’s path is different, you can’t expect everything to go the way you want. And making your life better starts with yourself.
I’m really grateful for the things I have and my family, don’t get me wrong. But, it’s hard to not think of what could have been or to wish you could go back a few years (or ten). I know comparing myself to others is wrong, but it also helps me realize what I have and what I want to work towards.
I don’t think I’ve ever written a post like this before but I am really grateful that I have this place to express my thoughts and am really grateful for all the support I’ve received on WordPress. I know I’m lucky, just as everyone else is; we all only have one life to live and you can’t wish it better, you just have to do it.